I recently went through a divorce and to say that it was a life changing event is an understatement. I was not prepared for all of the different emotions, the roller coaster of emotions. I was angry, I was sad, I felt like a failure, I felt rejected and I was hurt but most especially I was sad for my children. My parents divorced when I was young and I never wanted that for myself or my kids.
There would be days that I would think that I was ok but then out of the blue I would start crying. I had slipped into a depression. I am NOT the type of person to be depressed. This was a new thing to me.
I was going through the motions of my life. Get up in the morning, get the kids ready for school, drop them off at school, go to work, pick up kids, homework, fix dinner, get kids to bed, finish working, go to bed and then start all over again the next day. I could not find joy in things that used to bring me joy. When my kids were with me I didn’t want them around but when it was their week to be with their dad I wanted them to be with me. I didn’t want to be at home but when I was out with friends, especially married ones, I wanted to be home. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.
I was stressed because everything fell on me now. I was solely responsible for grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, taking care of all the kid’s needs, taking out the trash, paying all the bills, maintaining the house, etc.
Another source of stress was finances. Trying to figure out the bills and other expenses with one income.
I finally decided that I needed to figure out a way to get out of this funk.
- I found positive messages on the internet and wrote them on post it notes. I placed them around the house in places where I was likely to see them and be inspired by them. I put them on my computer monitor, bathroom mirrors, microwave and refrigerator. They were messages that reminded me to count my blessings, not my problems and to be grateful for all the good things in my life because I do have many things to be grateful for: my children, family, friends, house, food on the table, and my health. Some days I’m more grateful than others but I’m working on it.
- I make sure that I take care of my health. I exercise, take my vitamins and I regularly visit my chiropractor.
- I have a couple of friends that use essential oils and they shared their experiences and the benefits of using these oils. I started using them myself. Joy and Stress Away have become my new best friends.
- I realized that I can take this time to discover who I am post marriage and kids and figure what I want to do with my future. I realized that I want to have more time with my children and to make more money. I’ve been doing a lot of research on how I can make more money and make my own hours. I’ve decided to sell Young Living essential oils and to start a blog to make additional money. The hope is that eventually I can do both of these full time.
- I go to church and get involved in church activities. It’s good for the soul.
- I’ve enrolled in a Divorce Care class at my church. I was against it for a long time mainly because I didn’t know much about it but I think that it will be good and hopefully bring some closure.
- A friend of mine gave me the book The You Plan by Connie Wetzel and Michelle Borquez. It was confirmation that all the emotions that I’m feeling are normal.
I’m not completely healed but definitely moving in the right direction. I’m a work in progress.
Have you experienced depression? I would love to hear what you did to over come it.
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